Crazy Abe Hobbies
by Bookeater-otaku
Summary: Collab with Shiroyuki9 - A place belong companion fic. Abe is driven insane by boredom and will do anything to alleviate it... and thus driving everybody else crazy along the way.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Hellboy doesn't belong to us

Rating: M just to be safe because... just because

Oh! And before I forget, this is "talking", this is 'thinking' _._ Have a pleasant read.

Hellboy – A place to belong side-stories

Crazy Abe Hobbies

Prologue

 **'Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.'**

 **(** ** _Moving Pictures_** **)**

…..

 **Hi! I am the Narrator, professional animator, herald of quote, commentator, storyteller, D &D game master and barman-juggler. You may know me from my previous works such as my most recent one the famous internet sensation the story of "Hellboy: A place to belong" or the movie "Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron" (I was filling in for Matt Damon) or that condom commercial with the horse, remember that one? Hahaha. **

**We are here today to delve into the uncertain time where insanity fuelled boredom challenged Abe Sapien, fishman 'extrordinaire' as he and his friend, the star-crossed lovers Hellboy and Liz Sherman, were stuck in England after quitting the BPRD and noting and I mean absolutely noting interesting was happening.**

 **Wait w** hat? You don't what I'm talking about? (Oh great, now I lost the booming voice.)

Really?

Checked the title yet? What about the summary? Surely if you decided to read this particular piece of fiction it must mean that you already have knowledge of the primary storyline this anthology is derived from?

No?

Well shnuks… Then I strongly suggest that you go read A Place to Belong, by Bookeater-otaku and Shiroyuki9, where, as mentioned earlier, **I had** the pleasure of being the narrator.

But for those of you who lack the time and/or the will to do so, here are the things you must know for THIS anthology:

After defeating Prince Nuada and his golden army, Hellboy disenchanted with the way the B.P.R.D. was being a dick, combined with his newly found fatherhood and the media nightmare brought by his reveal to the world, choose to quit and start building a new life for his family somewhere.

At Hellboy suggestion, they moved to the old cottage of the late Harry Middleton, a dear friend of professor Broom, situated in England. It was an out of the way little residence where they could lay low for a while and make themselves forgotten from the public, with very little success. Reporters, paparazzi and governmental goons from various country kept pestering them, limiting their freedom and movement.

Klauss stuck around for a while, but previous engagement and responsibility made him return to the B.P.R.D. but wished his new friends a good life and was gone without any ill will between him and the unusual family.

He came back a few months later to convince them to rejoin the B.P.R.D. because they weren't faring too well without them.

That said, they came back, negotiated a new contract with the Bureau and got thing going again.

So far so good? Everybody's following?

Ok, but in between the time Klauss went and came, time passed and the strange would be family had to deal with being cooped up inside their property for an extended period of time; and with Liz being the only to be able to claim a certain anonymity, Abe had to rely on her to bring entertainment to the house.

Yes. Entertainment. Abe Sapien is after all an intellectual with many PhD under his belt along with a certain mastery in many fields; he read many books a day to keep his superior mind from stagnating. But here in the middle of nowhere, without his precious library or the B.P.R.D. management to provided new material for him, boredom was threatening to turn him completely barmy.

The ensuing trials and errors made to combat this dreadful enemy, dubbed "The Great Commotion" by Hellboy, consisted of many little events where Abe tried many things with a varied degree of failure.

Come discover with us the numerous of hobbies Abraham Sapien tried during "The Great Commotion''? What he did to make such an impression on Hellboy and Liz in that brief moment of insanity? Besides knitting?

These stories are a compilation of the most memorable and ridicule try that drove his housemate up the walls.

Enjoy.

A place belong companion fic.

Abe is driven insane by boredom and will do anything to alleviate it... and thus driving everybody else crazy along the way.

* * *

Shiro: hi everybody *^_^*

This is an idea that's been floating around for a couple of years ... well, ever since we mention the disastrous attempt Abe did at knitting or was it before ... it's not important. What is important is that while we did end up picking "knitting" for the fic, plenty of other hobbies were discussed and we came to a common agreement: WE NEED TO WRITE THIS.

Book:

I am not sure either where this one crawled from but it's been around in my head for a long time. I basically just wanted to see Abe doing different hobbies because he is bored. In the comics, when Hellboy disappeared, Abe was going to quit the BPRD, but it lifted the question: What will he do with his time now if he quit? The answer that came to me was that he is going to be bored out of his skull.

Well I hope you will have fun reading. See ya!


	2. The Rubik's cube, Part one

Disclaimer: Hellboy doesn't belong to us

Rating: M just to be safe because... just because

Oh! And before I forget, this is "talking", this is 'thinking' _._ Have a pleasant read.

Hellboy – A place to belong side-stories

Crazy Abe Hobbies

Chapter one

 **For an intellectual, nothing is a more slippery slope toward cultural suicide than boredom.**

 **(Abraham 'Abe' Sapien)**

…..

The Rubik's cube

Part one.

Abe Sapien knew and always said he wasn't good at solving problem. Three decade and he only completed two sides of his old Rubik's cube.

And now he had a new one. Liz found it in town in one of her supply run. Found it in a garage sales she said. She got it as a joke, so he could distract himself.

An old toy someone played with twice, gave up and probably never touched again.

Brand new with all the color mixed up, not even as side halfway done.

Three decade it took him to complete two sides.

Three. Over thirty years.

And he would have to begin anew.

Abe looked around for something else… Anything… else.

He already went through every single book in the house a dozen times and Liz wasn't going to the library until Friday. Therefore nothing different until then and they're no new magazine before next month. Honestly, he didn't care if she brought back novels, _bandes dessinée_ , biography, comics, manga, magazines, manuals or even a few pamphlets so long that he got something to read.

All those little squares of colors, taunting him... for three decade.

That feeling when you worked at something for so long, putting time and effort in it. A project you keep on the side for grey afternoon that you keep telling yourself that one day you would finish it and it will be the most glorious feeling you do…

Then you lose it. Gone forever. You even forget about it and move on with your life. But somehow, the same thing land in your laps again and then when you have it in front of you…

You ask yourself: Do I really want to start from scratch again?

To put all the sweat, tears and blood in what is theoretically the same thing again?

THAT feeling?

…

Nope.

He wasn't that desperate.

He could go swimming again. One of the advantages of a Fishman living beside the sea…

Or maybe there was another rerun of Coronation Street on the TV he could watch. Again. And after that intellectual abyss, he would just hang himself afterward in regret and Hellboy and Liz would have to stop him again…

'Sound fun. Let's go with that.'

And the Rubik's cube just sat on the counter for a while.

 **Dun dun duuuunnnnn!**


End file.
